It has always been a type of ritual, in every Indian house, to clean out those dusty, bookshelves during the month of April, I had appeared my board exams of 10th, & I too was commanded the same by Maa.
“Shorya, clean up the bookshelf, it’s in such a chaotic condition!”
“I’m doing the same.”
I replied, while I started taking out all the books, from the shelf. I’ve been always addicted of novels, some of those, which I could relate to my life. I would spend hours reading, them, without any interval, as if, it was a type of alcohol, flowing up through my veins, & I’m not able to hear, or vision something, when I would read any book.
Not only it was, about, reading addiction, but some novels held a special, position in my heart. There had never been a day, when I won’t sit in the school library, during breaks, & even after, the school hours ended. The librarian had always been too supportive, to provide me novels, I would want to read, even if I would want them to get issued, she would always help me out.
‘Library’, whenever a normal, person, would hear this word, our mind starts imagining, about a place, with pin drop silence, as if it’s a haunted house, where thousands of author’s souls would speak up, through their books! But, it was totally different in my case; library had always been too much special, for me. I had spent some of those unforgettable days, in the library, which are crystal clear, in my mind, &
even today, when someone mentions about Libraries, I’m lost in my own thoughts. It’s not that I had only spent happy & exciting moments in the library, but some of those nightmares, which I never wanted to happen, too were spent in that library.
I am absolutely sure, even if I would visit my school library, after 10 or 15 years, still I would stare at that novels section, & there would be a flow of numerous thoughts within my heart, & I am sure that, tears would find their way out, there are numerous reasons, for this, as those novels have played a major role, in my life, & I won’t ever be able to forget them.
Sometimes, I wish we would have an eraser, through which we could erase all those mistakes which we commit, no matter, knowingly, or unknowingly. How better life would be then. But, fiction could reach us up till the sky, but gravity, in reality, won’t let us do that, until, we have science, behind our moves. Our heart acts as a camera, during certain moments, & it always captures some snaps, even if we don’t want it to do so. They get saved deep within, & even if we want them to get erased, they couldn’t be.
I was taking out all those numerous novels, bathed with dust, while my eyes stopped at one, “Few Things Left Unsaid” by Sudeep Nagarkar. Amongst all those novels, which had some of my memories attached, this was the book, which held a bunch of memories. I glanced the pages of the book, while I stopped at the one, which had a letter in it, it was the part, of the book, where Aditya proposes, Riya.
My heart skipped a beat, body felt cold, brain was numb, as if I was attacked by something, which hurt a lot, but still I didn’t had the courage, to shout, even if I wanted to, my voice choked, I just collapsed, as I lost balance, my legs didn’t let me to stand, while I held that letter in my hand, i just sat, near the shelf, numb, as, I knew what was written on it, I knew for whom I had written that, & I knew what were the situations, when I had wrote that.
I was lost, & I would clearly remember, the day, when she had entered, my life, the day, when I met the most beautiful girl of my life, it was only 1 name which echoed deep within myself, “Arohi!!”
CRAVING FOR HER PRESENCE
14 February, the day when I lost her,the day which still makes me cry, the day, when I actually lost my life, With each step she moved ahead, i was losing a part of my heart!
“Just go & stop her!”
A whisper came from behind.
‘Shorya, just go & stop her, you can’t let her go this way!, It cant end up like this!’ I would continuously, hear all these words from my heart, but still legs froze where I was standing!, I didn’t had any energy, or courage left to go & stop her, That was the moment when I saw, my Arohi being wrapped up in someone else’s arms, making me shattered into pieces, & She left!
“You would have stopped her!”
Samir shouted at me, while I turned back to hug him tightly, with those tears in my eyes, which were completely, new to both of us!
Those promises were broken, those hugs weren’t meant to exist, those lights weren’t enough to light up my life! As she had left me with complete darkness, to fall apart into numerous pieces!!
“Calm down, we’ll try to sort it out.”
Samir was trying to calm me down, but actually it wasn’t possible!, Reaching home, I somehow, faked a smile, in front of mom, & locked myself, in my room, It felt like everything had ended up, those moments which we spent, everything seemed to fall apart, & I had to accept the truth,that she, wasnt mine anymore!
I closed my eyes with tears filled while those moments suddenly came up flashing!
Sapna’s arrival, those moments, broken friendship! Arohi’s entry, & each & everything that took place since last 3 years of my life! Closing my eyes, I fell amidst in those thoughts from the very first day, when my life took a drastic change!