“Some people think that it’s the holding on that makes us strong; sometimes it’s letting go.”
Sometimes, we hold onto a person because we cannot imagine our life without them, even after being abandoned and broken into the tiniest of scrapes. We fear losing them, we fear loneliness, we fear climbing every step of life without them being around. We often hold onto them because we fear unchaining our souls from them.
Some people love us because they are too lonely in life. Sometimes, the saddest kind of sad is when our tears can’t even drop and we feel nothing; not even empty. We don’t cry, we don’t hear, we don’t see. We just stay there; for a second our heart dies. Our heart aches to let go of something that makes us sad because at one time, it was the only thing that made us happy.
There is enough heartache and sorrow in the life without our adding to it through our own bitterness and resentment. There are times when we feel we can conquer the world, but then we realize that we have no reason to fight for. We want to stay and hold on, but realizing that the other person has already let go crushes our heart into the tiniest of pieces.
They say, ‘the more you give, the more you get.’ Sometimes we give them unconditional love and promises, losing ourselves to be accepted by them; while all they do is rip us apart.
Getting over a relationship is hard;
dusting ourselves off and moving on to find love again can be daunting but sometimes letting go is not as hard as holding onto something that can never be our’s or has a place in our future. Sometimes we get stuck in our pain and stubbornness, unable to forgive people; while forgiving the other person doesn’t prove us weak, rather helps us welcome back joy in our life. Forgiving unchains us of anger, hurt and anxiety.
We cannot control what others want to choose in life; we cannot take a stand on their behalf. If someone wants to exit our life, we should let them do it gracefully. Things, anxiety, love or betrayal doesn’t disappear on their own. We need to make the commitment of ‘letting go and moving on.’ We need to let people go when there is no reason to stay. They will eventually miss us, when they fail to replace us.
There is a wide line of gap between ‘a goodbye’ and ‘letting go.’ We are ready to bid goodbye, with a hope of seeing them and holding hands again if they are ready to hold our’s. Letting go makes us miss them and realize that their hand was not meant for us and that we shall never hold it again. Letting go doesn’t make us forget the person, but gives the courage to start surviving without them.
Someone who loves us will never let us go, even in the thickest turns of life, under any circumstances. Easier said than done, but letting go of something that is not our’s allows us to be open to incredible new opportunities and open to finding love again.
Giving love and loyalty with all our soul, we are often reciprocated with broken pieces of shattered promises. Some blame it on the caste system, status inequality or colour. They leave, blaming it on the religion of love; forgetting that God is not divided into religions and that all souls are of the same colour.
“Gazing at the stars at night, talking to them is my favourite part – they keep all my secrets.” I realize my closure wouldn’t come from him but from within, knowing deep in the middle of my heart that I did everything I could; going above and beyond for him. More than a compromise, I became a whole new soul just to accomodate myself in his life. My closure would come when I stitch my thoughts accepting that everyone isn’t for everyone; and him and I just aren’t for each other.
Moving on from someone we love drains us physically and mentally because we’re constantly fighting back memories and feelings, stitching our souls to lessen the pain; often sitting alone at 2am makes us miss them with an urge to call and hear their existence. But missing them doesn’t mean they are needed back in our lives. Sometimes ‘missing’ is just a part of moving on.
Closure is something we all seek, but sometimes closure is not needed in a relation. At some point we have to choose between ourselves and our love for them. We can’t keep putting our happiness on hold for them, wanting them to be back.
Closure happens only when we accept that letting go is more important than projecting a fantasy of how the relationship could have been. At the same time, we also need to engrave our souls with the fact that some chapters in our life have to close without closure because there is no point in losing ourselves by trying to fix what’s meant to stay broken.
Let go of a relationship where you are the only one holding the rope; understanding the experience it taught you to help develop a sense of closure. Forgive them, don’t forget them; because forgiving will give you closure and peace of mind.